In late 1953, my late grandfather got pulled over repeatedly by the Detroit PD for driving around town at ridiculous speeds in his ‘49 Mercury Coupe. This wouldn’t have been the world’s biggest problem were it not for the small detail that he was a Canadian citizen who lived in Windsor. The third time the cops busted…

Ummm...

This. The market value of my wife’s CX-5 is shit, but the practical value is unmeasurable. That car has been solid as a rock, with absolutely no unexpected maintenance or repairs (save for the asshole who rear-ended her while talking on her cell phone). It’s at 86,000 miles and still as strong as it was when we got it…

Point.

Neutral: I’m active duty military. Regardless of what the Commander-in-Cheeto may say, the DoD’s take on it is, “We aren’t relaxing SHIT until we feel it’s truly safe to lower the Health Protection Condition (HPCON).”

This dude is such a little bitch. Is it so much to ask that he just rage quit the Presidency one day because it “isn’t fun anymore”?

What the hell? No. We settled this in 1995. Maggie Simpson shot him.

I am shocked, SHOCKED that after years of sub prime auto loans and utterly ridiculous term lengths, the beginning of a recession would trigger such a thing.

What the shit is this trash?

Jesus Christ, it’s like BMWthulhu. The Elder God whose name must not be spoken.

Oh, shoot, I had totally forgotten about ol’ Carlos and his tales of woe...

Why mess with success?

Since he’s Japanese-American, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought he did.

He’ll be back. I don’t think it’ll be this season, but I still think he’s the odds-on favorite to be in the 48 at Hendrick next year. He’s going to have to do a full-on mea culpa goodwill tour to get Ally and Axalta to be okay with him being in a car with their names on it, but look at who his teammate at Ganassi was -

Fuck him. He’s a blight on society. May he forever rot in prison.

3rd: I feel precisely zero sympathy for an industry that has spent the last 15 years thinking of newer, more creative, and more sadistic ways to nickel-and-dime travelers. They can take their industry woes, saute them in checked bag fees and season them with reduced leg room, and shove them straight up their ass.

FUCK ‘EM.

Damn straight. Four years ago, when I bought my current car, I wanted a $35k car, but could afford a $25k car. So I bought a $21k, three year old BMW X1 with 25,000 miles on it.

Jesus Christ, money’s a hell of a drug, ain’t it? Because it ain’t love that made that happen.

Everybody on that HOA board is welcome to roast in hell.