I think it’s safe to say I’ve lost my damn mind.

Screw the eagles, a southern Ram Charger for $600? That’s a Nice Price no matter who you are.

Honestly, in the alternate universe where I get to do this, one of the cars would be a VW Kombi Camper. 

Oh, absofuckinlutely not. Lottery money, yes, but like you, there’s no possible way I’d spend $375,000 of my hard earned money on a fancy Toyota.

Yes. Yes, I know. I will now go weep in my coffee at the thought of what might've been, thank you very much. 

‘Nuff said. 

DAMN YOU! 😂😂😂

1st: I have an SUV right now. G_d willing, it’ll be the last SUV I ever have. From here on out, it’s all unique older cars that I can wrench on myself. My wife can drive the SUVs.

I don’t give a damn if it is seven years old. If I won the $237 million Powerball jackpot tomorrow night, one of my first orders of business would be putting together my own Gone in 60 Seconds list of 50 cars (to be acquired legally, though), and a Lexus LFA would sure AF be on there. I think I’d name her... Rebecca.…

Not the car for me, but this dude's interested...

My point is that he also should not have been barreling down the road like that.

My God. I think I just jizzed in my pants.

100% fuck that semi driver for driving that fast in those conditions. He had to have known that he wouldn’t be able to slow down fast enough were he to come upon, say, A WRECK BLOCKING THE HIGHWAY.

I have some suggestions.

3rd: look, I get that the future is electric, that if anybody can build an electric car that can leave my spine embedded in the seat, it's Ferrari, and that having already built a hybrid with the LaFerrari, they're halfway there, but to me, there is just something wrong with the idea of a Ferrari that doesn't howl…

David... it's time. 

Somebody get Conan O’Brien on the phone.

Shit.