I mean, this exemplifies idiotic American excess, which is perfect for Colonial Treason Day, but...

Goddammit, take your star.

So Alabama wants to make it difficult to legally remove them?

Wow. That face... it’s just such a good candidate for a blunt force meeting with the steel toe of my size 13 US Navy uniform boot.

I don’t care if Mitsubishi sells crossovers. That’s what people are buying; that’s where they’re going to make money.

As much as I would enjoy driving that for shits and giggles, even paying $1,000 makes it a crackpipe. Hard pass.

Yeah. As a US Navy officer, allow me to just say, “Oh, HELL no,” and that I would require a trip to my stateroom’s clean underwear drawer after that kind of incident.

Fuck him and his crab legs.

Der Gropenfuhrer is aware that it he can’t just say, “I’m going to tax you, Harley-Davidson!”, and then do it, right? That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.

Make Michael Douglas look young, make Hayley Atwell look old, bring in John Slattery as-is... why not? We’re going back to the ‘90s with Captain Marvel, why not go back to the ‘80s with an early Ant-Man? Maybe even have a de-aged RDJ drop by for a cameo as spoiled brat Anthony Edward Stark.

This is the only way I can respond to all of this without losing my goddamn mind.

My first thought upon seeing the picture was of the Cake song “Satan Is My Motor”, because that’s basically what this picture appears to be saying.

This is what Ford needed to be looking at when they made the new Lincoln Continental. Super exclusive hyper luxury sedan. Sure, give it the suicide doors of old, why not, because you’re only going to be making a scant handful of these per month, so quality control shouldn’t be a particular issue.

Buuuuuut will it be a TDi?

Neutral: Us. We the people will get fucked. Unfortunately, too many of we the people either won’t care enough or are such rabid looney-tunes that even this bullshit won’t be enough to make people condemn Donald “Cartman” Trump.

I mean...

Come on, Torch, it’s not like Der Gropenfuhrer would actually understand this, though. Lord Cheesy Poof wouldn’t understand the economics of the auto industry if they were spelled out for him in one syllable words on a thousand fake breasts. He is a 70 year old Eric Cartman, and he demands that you respect his…

I’m not the only one who just glanced at that headline at first and thought it said “Nick Cage”, right? And had a brief moment of horror?

This trade war is the stupidest s**t. There’s absolutely no reason for it. Sure, it might get rid of the Chicken Tax (also the stupidest s**t), but the only reason it’s even POTENTIALLY going to happen is because a dumbass who has filed for bankruptcy multiple times gets a half chub over the idea of having some…

Y’know, cool and all, but I’m guessing the interior of that jet would look like a Rorschach Ink Blot Test if you lit it up with a black light... Lord have mercy.