I can’t star comments like these enough. The patriarchy creates self-loathing men. Access to guns turns them into terrorists.

Because the gun lobby has done an effective job at telling most Americans that they need guns to protect themselves from “bad guys” and “tyranny”.

Just lick off the oil, leave the rest.

I’m going to invent a paint-roller type contraption for blotting whole pizzas. Save time by just rolling it back and fourth on the entire pie.

We need a history/military history Gawker page and I need to write for it.

Thanks for this awesome article Tyler.

I see you left out “Go through their pockets for valuables.”

When calling 911, a few bits of information can go a long ways.

It’s a long list:

Johnny Catcher is the greatest bench

My grandfather passed away a few years ago from Alzheimer’s. He was a Yankee fan for most of his early life, but abandoned the team when Steinbrenner took over and tried to alienate Yogi Berra, who was his favorite player.

http://tacobell.wikia.com/wiki/Fully_Loa…

You mean besides buying a pound of butter and just eating it like a cheese stick?

I enjoy it as well, probably because anything that reminds me of drug-fueled “fuck yeah, Massachusetts gave me a license” teenage tomfoolery in 1993 is on my permanent “this stuff’s good by me” list. It wasn’t good by any reasonable person’s standards then, it isn’t now, but it still gets judged by 16-year-old me’s…

Taco Bell thrives precisely because it never loses sight of what it is and who its customers are.

As a big fan of Mexican food, I both love Taco Bell and realize it is not at all anything Mexican. Like you can enjoy the artistry of professional boxing and still want to watch two drunk frat boys punch each other unconscious in the parking lot of a Church’s Chicken.

It really is surprising how much his art adds to the article. Years from now they will be learning about Sam alongside Pablo Pacaso and Andy Warhol

I won "Best Tasting Cookie" in a bake-off here in my home town in 1995 :) Salted butter with a mixture of dark and semi-sweet chips and Mexican vanilla are all crucial.