THIS. IS. AWESOME.

Record of the Year: “Uptown Funk,” Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars “Oops Upside Your Head,” The Gap Band

Right? It takes a lot to get me rooting for Taylor Swift, but macho-man rapey posturing will definitely do the trick.

Ohhh ho hooo! I love this fee-ling!!

This is my greatest comedy pet peeve. Taking a perfectly goofy, innocent joke and beating it to a bloody pulp. It’s cruel and unusual joke torture!

Wow, thank you for jogging my memory. I totally forgot how amazing this movie is.

My spirit animal. I love this man. He is my innermost soul personified.

I bet you do your research and bring really good beer too. Ah, fuck, you win.

You must be so much fun at parties!

Basically.

He looks like one of his Dunkin’ Donuts cardboard cutouts, but less lifelike.

My Scottish ex-boyfriend used to call it the “Daily Heil” because they took the position of Nazi appeasers during WWII. He successfully shamed me out of my morbid fascination with Katie Price.

The only thing funnier than these tweets is comparing Kanye and Tupac in my head.

YUP

Thank you!! My night just got much more glamorous.

Can we replace it with new episodes of Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist?

Party Parrot?!

That gown is like...pure sunlight and gold and brilliance. And that’s an understatement. Wow. And don’t get me started on the evening coat. Even the print on the inside is jaw-droopingly perfect. This is my new favorite thing just in general. Fuck.

It’s a sailboat, dummy!

Random, but can we include Patti Stanger aka “The Millionaire Matchmaker” in this stinkfest? For some reason she just came to mind and I felt the strongest urge to Febreeze my surroundings.