She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

Incorrect.

Thank you. I fucking hate that.

Not to mention the seeming endless parade of reality shows where people audition to marry essentially (and sometimes literally) strangers. Funny how the fundies aren’t up in arms about that “devaluing” marriage.

Now, now. I’m sure all the white, Protestant kids named Ahmed Mohamed would have been treated the same way.

Please stop using your youth and talent to remind me how I wasted mine. I find your elastic skin and enthusiasm terrifying.

In Texas, they have a saying:if you can’t do the time, don’t measure the time.

He looks such a sweet boy who also maybe just learned that being a little bit nerdy is something you need to hide.

Can we talk about the more concerning fact that apparently when this English teacher sees a device she believes is a bomb, she just confiscates and keeps it instead of, I don’t know, leaving it there and evacuating the building?

Oh god someone please bring me In-N-Out right now

Note: I do not want poop/vomit stories. Please stop sending me poop/vomit stories.

Bagging up hot, fresh In-N-Out is like gift wrapping heroin.

The waitress would ask if they wanted it without the stick, but noooo, they wanted the stick in it so that they could send it back to the kitchen to have the stick removed (because they couldn’t do it themselves).

“Never loan anybody your pickup truck.” is a lesson that needs to be burned into the brains of anyone who buys a pickup. Just by it’s nature, anybody who wants to use your truck is not asking for it because they need to transport a cardboard box filled with lace dollies. They’re going to beat that thing like a rented…

Free burritos are worth it.

We need a mandatory high school class in workers rights in this country. Like the year that you’re eligible to work you attend a class where they talk about minimum wage, hourly pay and wage theft, sexual harassment, workplace injuries and your rights in regards to them, and all the other crap that can happen on the…

Draw me like one of your French girls.

THIS: It cannot be stated enough times: if your business model depends on not having to pay your employees a living wage, said business model is hopelessly broken and deserves to fail.

I hate self checkout unless I am buying 3 things. If you are shopping for a family of 4, there is no way you’d use self checkout when you are doing your weekly grocery shopping. Fuck you robot cashier! I put that shit in the god damned bag, why are you saying I didn’t? Asshole.

I feel like I could file most of my life under the tag for this article.