Teachers know about this sleep thing, but when we suggest later start times, parents push back because sports/football, y’know.

Ima bout ta lose fuckin control and I think I fuckin like it.

To see if there are any of those crunchy quasi burnt fries in the bottom of the bag. Those are the shiz.

a) I know, right?

Oh, I just thought it was particularly incisive. On fleek, so to speak.

So, what is it—Wiccan or witchcraft? Because those are two different things.

Uncontrolled atmospheric chemistry is how we’re getting our current predicament.

Well said. All these stars for you:

Ripley: “...”

Yeah, and send some of those smallpox blankets while you’re at it.

Venusians: WUUUUUUUUUUUUT

Customers would never know if a given server or cashier had used all of their yearly allotment or not.

maybe it’s supposed to be Good Friday?

i bet it’s wheaton. it’s always wheaton.