Yes. YES. *reaches into junk drawer*

YES.

Ah, thank you. This explains why I hate Coke Zero and WOULD MARRY DIET COKE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. But only in the summer. On ice.

Gotdamn refugees tryina escape some war that is my constitutional right to invoke in some brown country to protect MY interests!

THIS.

Yeah, and then you find out some drug lord has her family at gunpoint somewhere. Not making excuses; I mean, she just got her citizenship in April—could she be that stupid?

Ooh. In.

Nope. I make an effort to stay out of circles like that. Not so far out that I can’t make fun, however...

It’s only on November 7. The rest of the time we good, right?

At first I was

Ha ha. They wouldn’t have to get close enough to read the internet to make that call.

Uh, if that happened to me, I would be writing this from the library of the corrections facility in my blaze autumn jumpsuit. DO. NOT. EVEN. LOOK. AT. MY. SHEARS.

You guise are so inspiring I went and dug our tres expensive enameled dutch oven (Le Crofton, for you Aldi types) out of the basement. What should I make?

heh heh heh....why do you think everything tastes salty?

yeah, and second amendment, armed bears, bald eagles screeching overhead...

They wouldn’t do that! They’re not American!

Americans men are violent, mean, entitled and isolated.

I’m american, AND mentally ill, and I’ve never even punched anyone, except that one time in fifth grade, and we WERE playing hockey...

5. They don’t have families like Muslims do who would take revenge for rape.