Rachmaninov's 3rd!

eeeeeeeee! Adultosaur is talking to me!

Ooh, Diminuitive Cunt. Good band name.

See raisedbycat's post, above.

GIVE ME ALL THE MEATS!

Could you not say that so loud? It's so crunchy—ack, airway closing up...

A poster named zodiakleo claims to be the offender in the story. Didn't want to reply to it directly.

"The free bread! Just like that table over there is having!"

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of TWO THROBBING DONGS, must be in want of a wife.

Could someone please 'shop some ruched poplin skirts in there? Because that would be amazing. Like all Pride and Prejudice.

The cervix is a muscular sphincter. Imagine a tight knot in a rope. Now imagine trying to undo that knot with a slippery, rounded object. It's part of the reason labor is so painful. The cervix has to dilate enough to allow passage of a 7-8 lb bowling ball.

Mom: "How was school, dear?"

Hey, Matt Damon killed a guy with a magazine in the Bourne movie. So we could show that clip during inside recess on rainy days.

Do these suits have can openers attached? Asking for a friend.

You are not a fellow human. You are a reptilian tiny-armed beast of revenge. YOU ARE THE NIGHT.

They're usually in a box in the hall outside the office, colorfully labeled. Sure, that makes sense: lockdown announcement goes out over the intercom, have students line up, leave locked classroom, file down the hall, pick up a can, confront intruder armed with a semi-auto.

I ain't eating no off brand cream of mushroom soup with bullet holes in it.

This is what happened the last time I tried to wear string.