I ask my SO for this ALL THE TIME. He used to dance for the money they'd throw. Ima keepin all his sperm packets...

Exactly right. Although being a sovereign nation never stopped us from getting involved, if oil was involved, was my point. Human lives, not so much.

Cut to Todd Akin holding up a pic of sluttily dressed cuttlefish (ooh, a sluttlefish) proclaiming, "See, I told you so."

Isn't this the same group that kidnapped and trafficked 276 schoolgirls? But we won't get involved because "our" oil supply isn't being threatened.

Plus you get them leetle spermies quantum barrier tunneling...

...cooked till it's tender...

I SAVE TEMPURA

Your mom is thinking long pig.

...and a mole rat in a sensory deprivation suit...

But...but...two boners...two Amish boners...

Amish sharks with boners!

I'm not trying to make excuses for your family, but maybe they're trying to cheer you up? Maybe, "you look and feel like shit, but on the bright side..." My sister recently lost 30 lbs. because she's under a lot of stress and works too many hours a week, so instead of pointing out how miserable she is, I just tease…

You brazen hussy! Got away with it too, didn't ya?!

...little striped ass...dying.

I haz hairs. So much hairs.

ALWAYS be nice to the custodians. The ones I've worked with have been good people and it comes back to you.