Those jawlines, lips, and noses. They were so vain they were dating themselves. My last Ex is engaged to a girl who could be his sister, they look so much alike.

Don Jr. keeps all his intelligence in his chin.  

before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s remember that he has two brothers that aren’t retiring.

Wasnt everybody doing that in 2002? I mean with 9/11 and everything....?

“I’ve found that most threats of violence that are yelled out of Volkswagen Jettas are unfounded.” 

I enjoy the idea of Marchman getting punched in the face by some guy’s fresh jerk-off hand.

Goddammit I laughed.

I gotta admit, hating the Warriors makes a lot of sense but Draymond can dick kick my grandfather off a cliff and I’d still rather watch the Warriors than the fucking Rockets.

Congrats Pacers, you should have only lost by 1.

He shakes his head slowly, answers begrudgingly. “I hear the Lithuanian Football League is on the rise.”

Boston fans believing that other teams are lined up to trade their top-5 NBA player for Al Fucking Horford and some chaff will never cease to amuse me.

But bank robbers and murders are sentenced differently...i mean you’re kind of making the point you seem to be against.

No matter what, this kids will learn to respect the National Anthem and the National Invitation Tournament!

Dribbling in solo standard creates an immediate 5v1 until you are forcefully dispossessed

“Most men think this is what sex is”?? That is ridiculous. Most men reading this are horrified.

Or ya know, suck it up for those extra 20 seconds and have some consideration for people who can’t go up the escalator (because they’re usually steeper than stairs) and needs some extra stability on a potential dangerous piece of machinery.

He traveled.

It’s true! Turning someone into a zombie when you’re trying to heal them is a real goof-up.

When two of these teams play, they should switch sides of the court so the teams are shooting at the wrong basket. Then they could play a normal basketball game, except the winner would actually be the loser.

I love how the least important one’s presence didn’t mean much in the next two.