This post gets my seal of approval.

These guys may be the only team defeated by the Magic all year. 

“That’s a cool trick, Anna. But let me show you how to make a first round pick disappear.” -Vlade Divac

stephensonlance Name this unit?

Yeah, I’ve jerked off to your present girlfriend dozens of times.

Never forget

Even Dwight Howard thinks that name is fucking corny

Don’t tape me bro!

DON’T RECORD ME DOING A RACISM!!!!

Or he could start Jameis and let Khalil Mack and the Bears defense solve the problem for him. 

Fun fact! Passer rating isn’t the only QB stat in which Fitz ranks second in the league.

My dad does this, I thought he was the only black pepper/ketchup deviant freak. I have memories of him just piling pepper on top of the ketchup cups at McD’s until the ketchup is invisible.

Makes me think Mr. Heinz ought to have stopped at 56.

I have a hard time picturing any use of Miracle Whip ending well.

...no. Apologies for the picspam, but it needs to be said large and loud. The same principle holds true for sandwiches and dipping sauces:

I don’t know what that is, but I am equally intrigued and horrified.

50/50 and a few shakes of the hot sauce of your choice. Creamy, sweet, spicy, plus the salt of the fries. Hits every mark.

Less mustard, and since it's corned beef, kraut and cheese, maybe stretch it with some thousand island and go full Reuben.

I mean... at that point it isn’t really “pizza,” is it? It’s just an open-faced toasted reuben sandwich.

When they started using BBQ sauce instead of tomato sauce, I said it was a slippery slope and everyone thought I was being an alarmist. Well who’s laughing now? You see what your madness has wrought? You were so busy trying to figure out if you could, you never stopped to ask if you should.