Greek yogurt is wonderful. It’s not quiiiiite as delicious as proper sour cream, but it’s a very similar taste and texture and eating it by the spoonful is considered a healthy snack rather than a disgusting behavior.

I feel like I’m betraying a 50 year family recipe right now, but you all are good people and I’m here to spread joy and happiness.

My ex-Navy grandfather was delighted whenever I’d throw some S.O.S. on my plate when we were at the Golden Corral. “A lot of the guys complained about it, but I always liked institutional food,” he mused. “I guess it runs in the family.”

How trashy would it be to use my dehydrator for this and make this the family xmas gift this year?

This is... this is amazing. Fire sauce salted popcorn sounds fantastic.

Capers sounds AMAZING. I like yellow mustard, white onion, celery, pickle, and raw garlic.

It’s a salad. No gluten has touched it. The tomato that was sliced into it came from an organic farm and was loved very much by its owner.  

Of course, the Jaguars have won a playoff game more recently than every team in the NFL except the Patriots, Eagles, and, by a matter of hours, Vikings.

You got a pet. You got a responsibility. If your dog is lost, you don’t look for an hour then call it quits; you get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!

In case Tom Brady ever needed an organ donor. 

But get to the heart of the matter. Is he doing better than you? I mean that is what FB is all about, right?

It took me five extra minutes of Photoshopping but dammit I believe our readers appreciate the effort

That cow looks like it did a five year stint upstate. 

I read this half cringing that you were truly going to fuck it up and it wasnt as horrible as I thought. Except the ketchup. JFC. 

Man. You’re such an asshole, but you’re totally going to win here, in a 4-grammar-correction sweep no less. Totally got into his head.

Truly you are the Draymond Green of internet grammar nazis.

I knew spending six years in college to limp into an English degree would pay off someday.

Got him with the grammar correction.  He’s never going to post on the internet again after that.

Yeah take the side of a man who cheats on his pregnant wife whose about to go into labor (Twice), just because you dont like someone who trash talks during a basketball game

I still refuse to accept that sweet fruits (mango, pineapple, etc.) have any place in a salsa.

I’ve started to “grate” my onions and shallots with a zester and love the flavor it imparts.