Not to be nit-picking or anything, but he clearly said Bird-Boned not Bird Bomb. Which would make the player lighter and weaker rather than some sort of feathery Kamikaze.

Japanese reliability? I can't think of a single German car in this segment that is less reliable.

The Root is the next door over, bud.

You’re approaching these figures all wrong. This idea that it’s only 6% faster is based on the idea that the lowest possible time is 0:00. Obviously, that’s dumb. In its segment (production cars) the fastest time is 6:45 or something like that. Making for a range of 6:45 - 9:21, or a 2:36 span. Now you’ve got a number…

Virtually meaningless... unless the article was about track times and nothing else.

He didn’t double post. Kinja did.

Don't... tell me how to do the line.

This Sandy dude’s got it coming. He may not like my panel gaps, but I can tell you whose gaps he does like.

Calm down and read it again, bro. Just because this is a Gawker affiliate doesn't mean you get to jump on people due to you wanting to see evil around every corner.

9 cars.

Yeah, perfect size for Danimals!

Huh-ho! Big, tough guy!

It’s not a magic bug, you dope. It’s a magic arachnid. Can’t you count the legs? Six, seven, eight. Not six. Eight. I’LL KILL YOU, YOU IMBECILE!

Finally, someone is going to do something. Sure, you heard about the whale full of bags. But did you hear about the dolphin with the dashboard in its blowhole?

Breaking News: Toyota wins solo race after all the better teams quit

I use a leaf blower

He doesn’t.

This is great. I’m always thinking “I wish my car was electric so I could ditch that outdated rear window.” What a fuddy-duddy I must look like to people behind me that can actually see me. I can feel them staring at the back of my skull, peering in to my very soul. It makes me want to... set myself on fire.

But how many of these choices negatively effect other peoples lives? There’s nothing wrong with buying what you want, and there’s nothing illegal about daily driving your truck. But as the great philospher George Costanza once said:

I’m missing out on a D&P remake for this pile?