This is the worst Mad Libs ever.

This girl you know only from vague police reports? urr okay

I love the update.

Legitimate question:

Coming out of college I didn’t think Johnny had what it took to be an NFL player, guess I was wrong.

Can this be the end of the “Johnny didn’t want to play for the Browns and acted out” theory?

I hate when people say you can’t complain because it is free. I’m reading these ads. That clogs up my brain, man.

It’s good that you’re joking, because as a rule people from the south don’t usually like: minorities, non-Christians, or douchebags who think they are better than other people because of their geographical location. I know for a fact that you fit into at least one of those categories.

I’m curious, how much Adderall did you take to write this monstrous piece? The last time I read something this long the authors' name was Milton.

When did you writers become a bunch of whiny fun suckers? We write your checks, you are here to please us god dammit.

just needs more ads.

So you could write ALL of this, but you can’t copy/paste some e-mails and answer them? SERIOUSLY?

I think “deeply mediocre” is pretty generous, considering their last winning season was in 2003.

Wow, I tried making a relevant comment and it was moderated away, along with several other greys I remember reading. Funny, the thoughtless anti-gun sentiments are okay, but the gang-related and personal responsibility-related sentiments aren’t? Nice bias.

ACTUALLY it’s more like Bernie’s backyard, as he grew up there. She’s part of the gentrification wave ;)

Jared Goff, come on down!! You’re the next contestant on “Are you the next QB/savior for the Cleveland Browns!”

GM: Before we sign you Johnny, we want to time you in the 40.

Manziel plans to move to Las Vegas and hopes that the Oakland Raiders will eventually join him there in 2017.

If there’s no real financial gain in hosting these (whether it’s a Super Bowl, NFL team and it’s stadium scams, or the Olympics), why do cities continue to fall over themselves to ultimately fuck themselves?? I truly don’t get it.

So... can we abolish the NFL yet? Because it seems to be in need of a good abolishing.