Yeah it turns out that actually treating them like decent humans and, ya know, being nice produces far more actionable intel than beating the shit out of someone or simulating drowning? Who knew? Almost as if acting like fucking savages just reinforces what they’ve been told about us. If you need to torture someone to…

Because torture doesn’t fucking work.

Reading first of all.

“This should be anathema to everything America says it holds dear.”

Yeah, and all that torture got us jack shit as far as intelligence.

Scoff if you will, but is there a division with better QBs top to bottom?

Hes gonna miss a field goal in the NFC Championship

“OK, this guy can kiss my ass, too.”

Since Trump is only concerned with how things affect him personally, here’s Trump’s Final Four

I hate the old “Text & Call” combo. You get a “Hey what are you up to tonight/can you help me out with something” text and then because I took more than 30 seconds to respond, I immediately get a phone call from the person asking the same question. Calm down, I’m trying to gather my thoughts and come up with a reason…

“This is more for the professional world, because honestly, no one that you’d consider a friend would ever dare do a voice call these days.”

Signature or real-time resting heart rate?

Drew like that!? Drew like that!?

In that operation that qualifies as work-related experience.

Being investigated for serious financial crimes. Or has candidates applying for a job with the Trump campaign would say, resume padding.

I mean, hiring a guy accused of serious financial crimes to the Trump Campaign is pretty directly on-brand.

Freshness is overrated.

Did he pull a delicious five dollar, foot long turkey club from Greenie’s ass? Watch to find out! Eat Fresh!

a mentalist (just a made-up term for a magician)

the first move in this offseason’s quarterback race