More so if you got 99 Speech!

Couldn’t be belichick... he was already on his way back to his coaching office to plan the draft

if it smells like wet dog, yes

Right now Simmons is jerking off while wearing into it.

Are you familiar with the concept of a “fence”?

Yup, because anybody who smokes weed wastes their education.

This video (now marked private but previously linked by deadspin,) should be proof enough that these motors exist and are in use. The guy’s fucking bike tips over and keeps pedaling at the same speed well after it has toppled over and he has let go of the bike. THE PEDALS ARE MOVING THE BIKE ACROSS THE GROUND WHILE…

So the Pelicans are the worst fluid to clean up. Got it. Or is it the Suns?

Isle Royale at #56? Go home, you’re drunk.

Sex things?

You must be pretty young to be a lifelong Avs fan.

“He retired as perhaps the most-respected player in the world, and to this day you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone with a bad word to say about him.”

CLAMATO

how about a business of ferrets?

Please, lord, can someone tell me what #5 (RAOOFY) means? My mind is apparently not in a sufficiently dirty gutter.

wtf does this one mean? my mind is apparently not in a sufficiently dirty gutter.

The sugar isn’t hidden. It’s listed right in the nutrition facts. Dick’s comment was calling out a scientific study that demonstrated that 43% vs 2% had no noticeable difference. Facts are fun.

Strip of bacon: ~50 calories (likely less at a hotel cuz they’re small).

Zero danger?

Someone who did not commit domestic violence.