It’s the week of Thanksgiving, friend. Let’s give thanks.

Why does Doc love playing his son so much? The fucker sucks!

*Steps forward*

Which one of you knobs commenting here is really Kevin Durant?

This does make me realize: How is Gronk not an Eagle? Has there ever been a more Philly player than Gronk? I feel like the football gods really screwed that one up.

You do know Lebron isn’t as smart as he wants everyone to think he is, right?

One million stars for the perfect usage of Event Horizon.

Last night, after the Knicks completed then comeback, a couple of old men drinking alone at a bar on the UWS each looked up at the TV and managed, briefly, to sputter out something resembling applause.

Ben McAdoo is the friend everyone had in eighth grade who was only a friend because his dad had a fireworks stash in a old dead refrigerator in the garage. We just went over to Ben’s house to light off Black Cats, but all he wanted to do was tell us how awesome Def Leppard was.

“You can try movin on all you want. He’s gonna find yah. Back in 83', Olivia and I packed up Peyton and Coop, in the middle of the night, and hightailed it up to Minneapolis. 9 days later, we are awoken by a horrible shriek downstairs. I kid you not, we find Eli stuck, one arm and one leg through the doggie door,…

He looks like an orderly in a re-entry program for low level felons 

I married a corny guy and I hope my daughter does too.

If the “plan” has a four season turnaround, we can expect to see the Sixers hoist the trophy this year, right Sam?

“That’s actually why they lost.”

The Browns are the asymptote of the NFL - they approach peak stupidity/Browns-iness but never quite reach it, because somehow there’s always a way they can do something slightly more stupid.

That should do it. At long last, I do believe we’ve finally and truly reached peak Browns.

Burke, if you’re going to be cheekily disrespectful on this anniversary, bring your 🔥🔥🔥 A game:

#FreeZeke!

They’ve had two of the greatest quarterbacks this millennium, and have one Super Bowl to show for it.