“And we're deputy fire marshals" [sprays smoker down with fire hose]

I’d be riding my bike across campus last semester, and be really confused by all these [supposedly] college students apparently not wearing any bottoms. I mean, they have to be wearing bottoms, right?! Thank goodness I’m taking a break from teaching, because I think I’d be the one to start yelling “put some britches…

Or "Doorman" from Paranatural...