@Teh Echoroc: sounds about right. you can't slap people, regardless of how wee you are. my BF got punched in the face when he and his ex broke up—she was also wee (and broke her hand), but he still had a reasonably serious injury. he didn't call the cops, but if he had, more power, man.

@KlassywithaK: Wow, good point except, ut oh, WORDS MEAN THINGS. Bigot isn't a word that was coined specifically to insult a certain class of people. It has a specific definition, which Dodai helpfully supplied for us above. Once again:

@Tirannie: wow, i'd never heard of this—really cool. i love this stuff.

i know it's an obvious comparison, but "Now, don't go getting the wrong impression: I have a few friends who could be called plump. I'm not some size-ist jerk." reads like it was straight out of the onion.

@geeblegee: oh, my god. that's the winner.

bjork already did this too. musically.

yeah, facebook keeps showing me the same photo of my BF with his ex, the one who likes to send me psychotic 9-page e-mails a couple times a year.

@prettypithy: ha, that's totally what my boyfriend and i were saying this morning when he read this article. "what a drunk."

this is fucked up. someone's just trying to conjure up news out of nothing. even if it were true, who cares.

"I like to think if I gain 50 pounds and dye my hair black, he'd still love me."

first of all, was this video made for cable access? christ jesus.

@Keep it cool: applause

"I saw the girl's mom at a park, and the mom quietly pointed out another kid, whispering, "That little bitch," before bemoaning that her daughter is already being bullied."

i love sebaceous cysts so much. i mentioned in the last article that i had one recently; it was minuscule compared to roberto's mom's (christ jesus, a LIME?), but popping it was glorious. i mean gross-lious. it was seriously gross, but so satisfying.

@spacedcowgirl: i get those on the tops on my thighs, and sometimes on my nipples. it's reeeeally hard to not pop them. glad to hear i'm not alone!

dude, i have the crusty remnants of a sebaceous cyst on my left tit right now, so all of the cyst stories don't scare me at all.

i'm very, very afraid of being in a vehicle that goes over a bridge and into water. specifically the I-520 evergreen point floating bridge in seattle/bellevue. i go over it twice every day on my work commute, and i have this horrible fantasy every single trip.

why do people keep giving this piece of shit a microphone?

@AggieCat: haw haw, that took me a second. 500 points.

i used to run a variety show at lucky cheng's on the LES a few years ago, and we'd advertise for acts on craigslist, and i got an e-mail from michael gregory once with a link to some shitty, not-funny autotuned song. didn't reply.