He also thinks Akie Abe doesn’t speak English.

Probably Holland, 1945, which explains why I’ve never been good at sports.

The best HBO theme song is so obviously “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. It’s not even remotely a contest. Perfectly fitting.

I have to admit I liked the Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul intros. They both are appropriate for the show and very short so you got right to the action.

So those Brazilian soccer players in the shower were providing DNA samples for testing?

Yeah, he actually meant to tip $12.87, and only tipped the extra $1.10 because he’s bad at match.

So now we’re supposed to get dressed up and try hard? Fuck that.

That’s 2017 for you. You assume the weirdest news you’re going to get out of Brazilian soccer is a convicted murderer being signed to a new contract, and then next thing you know you get some guy trying to test out Ehrlich’s maximum optimal jerk-off theories from Silicon Valley in the locker room shower.

Wait, why the Beach Boy hate? Are you not aware that your sister site, The A.V. Club, correctly proclaimed Pet Sounds to be a better album than Sgt. Pepper’s?

Emma, you forgot #52, just ahead of Tom Brady: Beinghitby A. Car.

Not very smooth. I was always taught by my Uncle Ritchie that to dance with the Bamba, one needs a bit of grace.

Try a tossed salad between two buns.

And these communities are hit double because when they are struck by outbreaks of preventable diseases they will be denied access to decent healthcare.

Only a good student with a gun can stop a grizzly bear with a mini crossbow.

Meh, he can’t land a backhand but he hits a reasonable forehand. That said, those pics belong in the FUPA Hall of Fame.

Day drinking is fine if you build in a nap. Day drinking straight into night drinking means at some point your brain DVR will stop recording.

“It isn’t the favored codification my guy!” - Theodore Donald Kerabatsos 

“I’m sorry about my use of that term! It was occidental!”

“Son, is this you or the liquor pretending to be Tulowitzki?”
“Dad... I am the liquor.”