Unfortunately we both have three syllable last names, so a hyphen might constitute child cruelty.

I have never heard of this weird butter crock, which feels like a dirty phrase to type honestly. What’s wrong with a dish with a lid like normal people use? Oh and you can get away with room temperature butter on the counter for weeks. Weeks I tell you!

My wife is Mexican with a Euro-sounding first name, so she was reluctant to take my Polish-Latvian last name and go for the total ethnic shift on paper, and I totally get it. We have no idea what to do about future children though, and it’s tricky because choosing either way means putting a pretty fat thumb on…

Jalopnik: [shown excessive chrome and swoop designs] Too busy! Too much! What happened to simple designs???

imagen if plymouth was modarn

Let’s go to the video, Chuck.

I feel this way about a lot of special build stories you see posted on various sites. Often there are special circumstances that allow access to parts or discounts that would make something like this 10x more difficult or time-consuming for the non-connected Jalop.

Combine simultaneous phone-urinal use and dad-level (I’m assuming) touchscreen skills and you’re going to end up accidentally tweeting a mid-stream dick pic. Tread lightly, Magary.

For sure, I've lived here for eight years and it's crazy how much money I've tossed away on rent. My wife and I each make less than 60K but combined we can live an ok life. I sometimes forget the disparity of what you get for your money with a one bedroom vs larger living situations for roommates.

If you make over 60K here you can afford to move out of your parents house.

Boy, lots of people here don’t know what “gross” means. Sorry for your notifications this afternoon...

That’s not how millenials are defined, it’s anyone who was born in the early-mid-eighties to 2000. You post-2000 kids don’t have the purchasing power yet to be given a catchy label like that. But don’t worry, it will happen soon enough.

What happened to image annotations?

omg

omg omg omg

I just had my honeymoon at a resort next to this monstrosity. It’s so weird to walk around outside of it, like post-apocalyptic emptiness. Beach is pristine as a result though!

Sheet nazi needs to chill. A full hotel-style bedspread feels like a straitjacket, shit just gets in the way. Side note, I also love it when Drew reprints the emails that are like “RIGHT GUYS??” yet so completely and obviously on the wrong side of the issue.

I am a hipster asshole, so I’m attempting to make this punch:

That circus catch was a goddamn dagger in the heart. Had the drive been successful I think it would be just as painful for us as the pick is for them.

I think that’s where we diverge, actually. I consider it a moral imperative and beneficial to society to care about these things and counter the beliefs of those who don’t. But I guess you don’t, and that’s ok.