Reese’s Pieces:  the perfect, dog-friendly, Halloween candy.

Aren’t f-stops ratios of sqrt(2)?

Actually, since you said “counting,” that means you’re wrong:

In life, unlike as in school, they don’t care how you get the right answer, just that you get the right answer. Reference sheets and Google, baby.

5/8 miles in a kilometer. 8/5 kilometers in a mile.

pi times ten-to-the-seven seconds in a year.

I’m an electrical engineer with a physics background. I don’t memorize shit, because my memory went to hell years ago. “Trust, but verify” has degraded to just “verify.”

I hate you for making me read this with my own two eyes ...

You can microwave anything ... if you’re not a coward.

Given that the guards around Area 51 are authorized to use lethal force pretty much whenever they want, wouldn’t “Another One Bites the Dust” be more appropriate?

Golf? How the hell are you supposed to read when you’re sleeping?

Prickly pear soda.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit

6'3", 350 lbs. according to the entirely reliable Wikipedia.

There’s only one “The Fridge,” and that guy ain’t him.

Take my star, you glorious bastard!

Wrong!

Watching a pirated copy of the Matrix on a computer in someone’s dorm room. College was new for me (freshman year), high-speed internet access was still rare, and the Matrix was tits.

Gotta have money to gentrify, and NM is poor.

Neutral: Bought a 1997 F-250 a couple weeks ago. Don’t know if that counts.