"Okay, okay, I'll admit it— on review, that's not too shabby."

-Bill Belichick, picking through consignment store's Last Chance Sweatpants section

(Hears jamoke)
(Hears shake)

And no one thought to punch that little trash talking seven year old? I am disappoint.

I'm not going to give you any sort of guff for some of the painful missteps on this list BUT ONLY BECAUSE of you are so very, extremely, perfectly, absolutely, totally, completely, utterly, sublimely, etc.ly CORRECT about that vile Skyline chili mess that people in Ohio claim to be food. It is not food. It is an…

Foul balls are one thing. You can make a winner-take-all -life-sucks-get-over-it argument to, within reason and not including physical contact with a child or literally stealing it from their hands, to keep a ball when a child is close by. (I'd like to think I would still do it, though) But a lot of those weren't foul…

look man, i've played the oregon trail, those things come right at you, it's not his fault he can't carry back more than 25 lbs of meat to his wagon. i mean his kids have dysentary ffs.

Let it be known that the meat from any animal killed is consumed by one person in one sitting. No deviations from this rule have ever occurred.

If Kutcher decides to frame that photo, it'll only be the second geriatric he's ever mounted.

How far can you punt a football? Asking for a friend. (He's an NFL GM.)
...
(He's laughing.)
...
(He's calling all his GM buddies.)
...
(They're laughing.)
...
(They're still laughing.)
...
(They're watching tapes of you punting a football and puking from laughing.)
...
(They're deciding which one is gonna call you and pretend to…

"No Other Men In It, Just Me"

These Aaron Hernandez jail letters are getting weird.

This is just horrible, I got a little sick to my stomach watching it. Why would you put the Mets on TV?

Deadspin Commenter: [awakens from three-day bender]

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

Trebek: And the category for Final Jeopardy! is "People". And the clue is:

[removes human suit]

Poor kid, the Emanciptation Proclamation was a measure passed by the Moops in medieval Spain.

It's not that rare. The first six words are Kirstie's pep talk to her herself as she walks to the scale, and the last is the mirror image of the scale's reading.

I heard Mike Hunt was hanging out with Hugh G. Rection during the interview..

And why are the peeing themselves? Can't they designate one of the desk-tents as a bathroom? Why am I putting so much thought into this?