I don’t know, I have this vision of Leonardo DiCaprio, dressed in a Lakers jersey, slowly letting go of the door and slipping away in the cold waters of the North Atlantic. 

You have talked me off a ledge as a Lakers fan sir, thank you.

Dwight: I swear I’m not crippled and I’m super depressed about my career.

It’s Friday afternoon, that time when every American sports league dumps the news it would rather you not see.

The Oakland Raiders: 40 percent of a football team on 80 percent of a football field.

Mea culpa. I forgot that playing at Duke makes Jones whiter than white, so Mayfield looks like a person of color by comparison.

Why do I feel like the backlash would come so much faster if this was Kyler Murray or Deshaun Watson making these comments?

But this year is different.

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

I mean yeah, the Miami team’s stadium was always going to be in Florida. 

Larry Fitzgerald, postgame

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

*kneehilist

Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

“Told him he was bad at it” - Mrs. Hutchings.

You know that giant sarcophagus they built around Chernobyl? We need one of those for Alabama.

Hey, billboard.... shut up and dribble.

Totally empathize with these women,I know if prenatal tests showed my baby was a future Crimson Tide fan i’d struggle with keeping it too.

Can we just tell the Confederacy that they won and let them go? 

19,000 fans who could have gone on to celebrate life by watching young, unpaid men destroy their brains for entertainment.