If the category is “real Hanks”, then I submit Tom Hanks for consideration.

My son was carrying a plate of lasagna next to our new couch while watching the TV. The helplessness and dread I felt as I watched it slide off his plate onto the new furniture in slow motion is the same I felt watching that clip.

I think the best scenario is that Durant makes a fatal mistake in Game 7 to lose the Finals and then we skip ahead five years and Durant has given up and gotten fat and Green has to come to his hut and convince him to come back and help them make one last title run together. And Green will bring a raccoon to the hut.

*Rex Ryans bursts in, wheezing*
Heard the...headline...need to...hear more.

It appears that the Easter bunny is, in fact, real AF

He’s the antithesis of Brett Gardner.

You’re not the only one who was too dumb to understand so I’ll clarify for you, gray: we know he was poking fun at himself. That doesn’t change the fact that West was at one point, by his own admission, deadly-earnest in his attempt to convince a more-talented singer (and arguably more talented actor) that she should…

Jesus, this is going to be a banner day for uncles on Facebook...

A “bizarre collection of weird assholes” is a great description of this team.

1) The playoffs are going to be incredible. I just hope everyone stays healthy

Talk about burying the lede: Joe Montana goes by “Joseph” on Twitter? lol

There’s nothing in this editorial about PFT.

“...a sports humor website that makes Deadspin look like Dostoyevsky”

something came back with him

Seriously, Magary has been spitting straight fire after whatever happened to him, and I, for one, am here for it.

And yet no one is scrambling to abandon the Deadspin brand because brands are helpful and important.Deadspin has made concerted efforts to shift away from misogyny over the last 8 years.

A Magary is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he gets out of intensive care.

Probably happily, you cuck!

He was Drew the Gray. After his battle with (the Balrog? for all we know) we believed him gone forever, but he has returned as Drew the White to help us destroy Sauron.

I honestly don’t understand why anyone goes to Barstool. Then again, I am married.