Just remember the realist’s prayer: May all of you dopes rounded up by a TBS producer eager for a beating-a-dead-horse story live in non-swing states and/or forget to vote, not that prayer is an effective method of influencing real-world outcomes.

“Well what about him, he failed his ninth drug test. And that guy, the wife-beater!”

To be further exceedingly fair, the rest of the crop was absolute garbage, just previously elected absolute garbage. And they’ve been encoded or blatant racists for more than a few years, it all goes back to the Southern Strategy of 1968 and before that the Bircher influence.

(later killed by Carl over tragic Scots accent-related misunderstanding)

All pilots are trained not with flight simulators but by listening to Pink Floyd and Tom Petty’s “Learning to Fly”

To be fair, 1000 miles, if taken literally by the pilot, could lead to a landing in the Gulf of Mexico.

(gen-X scoff) More like Yasiel Ulater.

Still unsure why one of the major political parties decided to nominate a dumber, more racist version of the characters in Falcon Crest to lose a Presidential election.

Local Man Tweets Something, More News at 11

(English accent) These takes bloody sock.. er.. suck.

Thank you!

I thought with Federer down for the year they just canceled the Rogers Cup.

Maybe they could settle and call it Pimpire

Meanwhile, Hume is taking lessons from the Unknown Comic on how to make himself more appealing. P.S. What did we say JUST YESTERDAY about needlessly responding to Fox News apparatchiks like Brit and O’Reills?

They were going to retroactively punish the Rams but found they were punishing themselves enough.

“The Uni-President 7-Eleven Lions”

Josh McDaniel: DENY YOUR MAKER

I see somebody who’s entirely proud of it and maybe kind of wanting to do it again.

All Flo-bee commercials start with “Look, buddy. You’re a doughy mess. Is an expensive haircut really gonna get you laid? Of course not! So why not settle for the Flo-bee?”

It may be in the top 10 but nothing compares to a Tom Selleck/Jeff Foxworthy hybrid using the Flo-bee self-hair cutting system