Sounds like someone has too much free time on their hands at their security job. Don't worry, one day you'll have your opportunity to be that guy with ALL THAT POWER. You will get to tackle all the girls that might be walking behind someone else.

Presented without farther comment

That movie made my love for Everybody Wants to Rule the World even more intense! Awesome movie...

Best Woz. Hands down! (Best movie, too)

I never peed on anyone's lawn, but almost all of these points resonated with me. I think Mark is pretty wise to have realized these things before he was 30.

Are you 89 years old?

WATCH!!

Slice the (green) grape in half, but not all the way. Leave the two halves connected by a tiny piece of the outer skin. Place the grape cut side down on a plate and nuke it on high. You will get a lovely, bright flame. It is best to do this with the lights off. I've never tried a purple grape.

This is an interesting place to celebrate signing a contract extension.

Nothing motivates Thomas more than the thought of giving someone a freebie.

So wait, is being ethered like being sonned, or not?

I'm confused. Did you just plagiarize this article in the comments? Weird. Or was this just a Cliffs notes version?

So Dickie V's point is that if you're a Hall of Famer, you can run out in the middle of the floor and cuss the refs with impunity? Thank God Bilas didn't let Vitale get away with that horseshit.

I'm not Kerry.

Makes you wonder of some of the places you've been in today and what has become of them, often abandoned buildings and government facilities. One nearby me is a 1940's era radar facility, abandoned and you can drive to it still, however scetchy it is. The only light is through broken boarded windows, staircases have…

God, how embarrassing. Waking up in a Timberwolves jersey.

I've slept with a fan in my room since I was a kid. People have tried to buy me fancy noise machines, and none of them have ever stuck, but I'll always have fan.

"Coach, I'm actually thinking of staying for my sophomore year."

You're doing it wrong, Tim. You're supposed to put aloe on the burn, and not vice versa.

Oh, sorry, I forgot to include the link. We always do a bare-bones nuts-and-bolts version of each week's Foodspin over on my personal Kinja, for people who don't have patience for the digressions and flights of fancy. Here: