In this horrifying and violent shadowworld that you’ve imagined, is the street in question located in a big ol’ stadium surrounded by hundreds people and video cameras?

Preach

Thank you! Confused at the implication that the bat was somehow a legitimate threat.

Dang, this comment was so edgy it shall hereon and forevermore be known as a rhombicosidodecahedron!

My favorite Mast Bros chocolate flavor is their American Spirit cigarette butts left on the ground outside a pop up concert of 13 mandolin players held in a dilapidated craftsman on the far northside of Seattle.

Lack of Ninkasi Sleighr makes robot santa angry.

Totally agree. I derive a lot of joy hating the people. The reality of my hatred makes the fakeness disappear.

This reverse troll gets 2 stars and a charger for an iPhone 4 that I can’t use anymore.

My wife’s “no-shoes” policy was a big point of contention when we first started living together because I thought it was fucking ridiculous. I fought hard on it, and wore my shoes over the discontented sighs. But then, one day, we were walking through the subway and I was on my phone and stepped in a pile of vomit…

Whenever people say they don’t like Zombieland I feel like they are a contrarian shit-stirrer just trying to get a rise out of their audience.

I also cannot explain it. They just look like Seamuses. No other name will do...maybe Bailey.

I was a teen (Like 18-19) when I worked there so I didn’t even understand how great it was in the context of other retail jobs. I took like 25 smoke breaks a day with nary an eyebrow raised.

Yay! *high fives you*

^every Irish setter ever is named seamus. this is correct.

That dip cup story caused me to actually feel nauseous and get up to get a glass of water.

I can never unsee this King Koopa reference.

Preach. I left long ago, though will be back soon(in Ft. Wayne, of all places!) where an inlaw still lives.

What’s FT Wayne, like the 2nd largest city though? Think outside of Fort Wayne, think Huntington or any of the schools around Muncie...white as hell.

“Basically, being a famous actor seems really terrible, unless you’re one of the lucky character actors who no one wants to fuck and therefore the media doesn’t pay attention to.”

I’m crying so hard with laughter and saving this in my OneNote for future editing snarkiness.