The Nerds marking campaign was so spot on, that for a long time I actually believed that the nerds, when placed under a microscope, were alive and adorable and was hesitant to eat them. Like lil’ sea monkeys. I’m surprised I didn’t dump them in a bowl and try to raise them.

Saving that phrase for ever and ever. Works in so many ways (in my case, describing feelings of the “adult child whose parents suddenly divorce).

In Indiana it isn’t a warning bell it’s a state-wide mandate.

Getting the treasure that is Mary Steenburgen to say that in Step Brothers was Judd Apatow’s crowning film achievement.

That’s Chris. He’s super anti-establishment and you will know him because he never stops raising his hand in his Global Studies lecture.

SO MUCH EDGE IT’S ACHTUNG, BABY!

When I was a server I once had a customer argue with me over what Thousand Island dressing was. We served a patty melt that came with Thousand Island dressing. The kitchen prepared it and I brought it out. The guy asked, “What is this orange dressing?” and I was like, “That’s the Thousand Island.” He responded, “No.…

Oh just shut the hell up. They’re a different religion not a space alien.

Math IS hard, but anyone who sends a (probably) notarized letter in comic sans (I’m assuming) over a buck is a giant douche.

Hey asshole. Don’t make me do math when I read my Monday BCO. I had to read that twice and now I feel like an idiot.

I’m literally punching myself in the face right now for not thinking of this.

I did too! If you put Elizabeth Mitchell into a brow-furrowing sci fi mystery situation I will watch her furrow her brow all day long. I will watch her furrow her brow in one medicore, two season show out there until the world ends! And when you drop her down a hole and blow her up with a nuclear device I will cry SO…

Woah WOAH WOAH people.

Winner winner!

I actually have another ice-cream related childhood story but until there is a BCO called “Times When You Were Certain An Ice Cream Truck Driver With A Giant Knife Scar Across His Face Was Going To Hunt And Kill You” I’ll save it.

As someone who trudged through work yesterday with a hangover the size of China behind my eyeballs; hear hear!

So many! And also, an inordinate number of snow cone stands in grocery store parking lots. If there’s a strip mall with a grocery store and a Blockbuster video, you can guarantee that in the parking lot was a Sno-Shack snow cone stand operated by an equally high 20 year old.

Yay! If they had a BCO called “Teenagers Who Were Too High To Be Serving You Food” I could send in several entries!

Yes! All of this, and especially the part when she got sucked into that big hole in the ground and I cried for like 3 days.