Alas, I am of the Van Wilder/ Old School/ Super Troopers generation.

I WILL BE DOING THIS

Where is this from??

Is that Jon Favreau???

I imagine her walking up to them really slowly with her hands up, like when you approach a strange dog who may attack.

I am realizing I’m probably someone else’s abjectly terrible restaurant employee story.

Oh, so like Lee Press On Nails that your social media acquaintances try to push on you?

Oh! Can you explain to me what the fuck a jamberry is and why this girl I know from high school that I hatefollow keeps posting stuff about it on Instagram?

You need to read this http://www.avclub.com/article/megan-…

I knew minimal things about Ariana Grande other than that she is tiny and was possibly carried around like a baby, and that song that goes Bang Bang Chicken and Shrimp (credit: Megan Anram/ Cheesecake Factory Menu)

No, but I will be googling that right now, because that sounds like a gig I would be quite interested in.

In the dorms in college (I feel like the location gives this perspective) someone called “It” a period basket. I never looked at him the same.

Lolled so hard at this I choked on me Coca Cola Life (which is not good and I don’t recommend. You cannot replace high fructose corn syrup)

I want to sock this guy in the kisser and I suspect he has a man bun and/or horn rimmed glasses (no scrip).

Yay!

Thanks! New podcast for my daily bus commute!

Seattle Night Princes make for less tantalizing stories...they all work in Bellevue and will take you out to a nice happy hour at Palamino before asking if you want to take a ride in their Tesla.

That is probably a Guardians of the Galaxy fan fiction version of the story.

I strongly encourage this.

Haha, wow! Yes, they did that at my store too! I worked full time at this store, so I got to know our customers pretty well.