Which raises an interesting point about a candidate who wants to be president but wasn’t born in the US. Are the right-wing birther crackpots not going after Cruz because Canada isn’t in Africa, or because he’s white?

Yesterday, Ellen Page confronted Republican candidate Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair

it works as reflexology

Vomiting on command is the world’s worst superpower. It’s like you and the sea cucumber, who vomits its intestines onto things when it’s frightened.

I think a lot of what goes on with guys is just porn overexposure. Lots of deep throat, lots of gagging, and the performers all doing it with a smile. And guys don’t grok that A) those women are pros; and B) there’s a whole lot of lube in those shots.

I’ve barfed mid-beej before, just once. Boy thrust too hard, and BLAM! Puked on his dick. I eneded up swallowing it, didn’t even stop. Ever since then, I make sure I’m 100% in control of the depth and thrusting.

I’ll never forget the ex-boyfriend who excitedly told me he’d seen an instructional video on the internet where someone had trained away their gag reflex and thought it could work for me. He then proceeded to show me a clip of a woman hooked up to a machine that operated thusly: the more she deep-throated a dildo, the…

Yes. Why don’t guys understand how hard a blow job is?! IT’S CALLED A BLOW JOB!

“After he was halfway through the drink, he noticed that it contained two blue gel pills and a napkin at the bottom.”

I’m gonna say he put it there himself. Because he had this delusional moment where he thought maybe he’d get money out of it. I’ll be watching to see how this one shakes out. So to speak.

I am in love with the older dude in the hat who ripped his shirt open! His reactions were cute as fuck!

that grandma was the worst! I’m glad she’s not my grandma.

They are all so cute! except the one in the pink with the “let me speak to your manager” haircut... she was intolerable.

One Night Only hardly seems approp for the occasion. I would also rule out You’re Gonna Love Me.

Are those ice cubes or sticks of butter?

I have an excuse to post this:

oh my god that is so big I’m so sorry

What the...

My submission for double creature (which really should be called creature feature.)

“This is not some creepy looking pervert. He’s entirely normal looking,”