sorry I'm not a religious reader.

I may be a voice in the wilderness, but FUCK that Tipster and especially FUCK the NCAA. Again, could just be me thinking that.

Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

Checks are useless in camp. It usually takes the Dolphins about 3 games to officially shit the bed.

I bet some players' wives and girlfriends would appreciate those pink mouthguards.

They should just call it "Septembeer"

Former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura also called for Peterson's suspension, not because of abuse allegations, but because he was partially responsible for 9/11.

Of course, when RG3 says "He was watching over me," he's referring to Malsumis, the Native American god of cruelty who has been plotting his demise since the day he was drafted.

King: This is delicious, Roger, really good chili.

I smoked before work, and I started selling thousands of dollars of manufacturing machinery while crushing an everything bagel with cream cheese. Works fine for me.

Custom promethazine and codeine dispenser?

LaRussa: Oh, come on! Who cares if it was 95 miles per hour?! It was placed in a safe spot.

I wish that email had a face, so that I could punch it.

"AL East a shambles?" The Orioles have the 3rd best record in baseball and are 19-10 against the vaunted AL West. And Toronto is only 2.5 games behind them.

Thank god for Cooley and Szabe

It's nice to finally see the wife of a Raven drag their husband into something for once.

What terrible people. How is the NBA supposed to make any money if you just reuse old jerseys instead of burning them and buying new ones?

The first rule of CrossFit is you do not stop talking about CrossFit.