Maybe they created Hitler and sank the Titanic so that the specific line of events would happen so BrandonT would be born and save the galaxy. I bet that feels pretty awesome knowing that now.

Well who else exactly is going to provide the actual number of complaints made about the phone bending? What, do you think they're lying or something?

They did acknowledge it by apologizing and offering instructions to fix it, because, you know, it's the same company that is well-known for the best customer support in…

Yeah, facts don't change the fiction that this is a disaster!

Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

I've been playing nightly since release. It's a siiiick game. On the Oculus would be even better. You guys get all the awesome toys first!

Checks are useless in camp. It usually takes the Dolphins about 3 games to officially shit the bed.

I bet some players' wives and girlfriends would appreciate those pink mouthguards.

They should just call it "Septembeer"

Former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura also called for Peterson's suspension, not because of abuse allegations, but because he was partially responsible for 9/11.

Of course, when RG3 says "He was watching over me," he's referring to Malsumis, the Native American god of cruelty who has been plotting his demise since the day he was drafted.

King: This is delicious, Roger, really good chili.

I smoked before work, and I started selling thousands of dollars of manufacturing machinery while crushing an everything bagel with cream cheese. Works fine for me.

You realize that it will probably stop every 20 minutes and serve an ad right?

Groups like ISIS and Al Qaeda have changed how they communicate and do business because of what Snowden has informed them of and as a result we have almost no intelligence on their activities. When the terrorists next strike the U.S. it will be directly the fault of Snowden. I hope to see an image of him beheaded on…

Custom promethazine and codeine dispenser?

LaRussa: Oh, come on! Who cares if it was 95 miles per hour?! It was placed in a safe spot.

I call shenanigans. Even tho there is a Russian in the video with a black and white striped wife-beater on.

I wish that email had a face, so that I could punch it.