And this week’s sign of the Apocalypse is brought to you by...

Hang on a second, waiting for all the responses to come in.... Yup, votes are in. America still doesn’t give a shit about soccer.

In a related story, Manny Ramirez is under suspicion for corking Ellis Burks’s Bat. More at 10.

"Some guys like old balls". Hey, Tommy, whatever floats your boat...

If people outside Boston don't think this is going to be a shitshow, try driving on the Pike at 5:30. Then, imagine that multiplied by a hundred-fold. 8-10 hours/day. For fourteen days. Fuck that.

Still a better love story than "Twilight".

You all are missing the best title ever: The Most Interesting Man in the World.

Hey Gronk, Richie Incognito called, he has a few thoughts on what sexy, sexy football players should be doing after playing like studs on the field.

This takes the phrase "I have wood" to a whole new level.

All I can think about is the size of his... bat.

Doctors couldn't determine if there were multiple Butt hurts, or just one big pain in the Butt.

Fast and Furious

If this story develops, I hope the media gives us the full blow-by-blow.

In Russia, Pole runs into you.

Well, can't say the Royals can't identify with Brett, because they certainly shit their proverbial pants a lot during games.

One of the whitest things ever to happen...

When his coach tells him, "Hitner, get ready to go to war!", there's going to be a lot of awkward looks around the locker room

PBR is that 22-year old bro with an amazing body, great smile, no job, and whose life ambition is to get promoted to manager of the sporting goods store he currently works at. Though he has an absolutely terrible apartment, he will somehow convince you to go back to it with him, whereupon you and he will have…

Still a better love story than "Twilight".