Welker played 3 unremarkable years in Miami, who couldn’t figure out how to use him. Isn’t that the definition of scrapheapy?

With the exception of Moss for 2 seasons (+4 games in 2010) and the not-so-durable Gronkowski, Brady hasn’t had “top receiving talent.” He’s made scrapheap players like Welker and Edelman into major producers. David Givens? Brandon Lloyd? Keyshawn Martin? Deion Branch? The murdery guy?

the Gingrich story...has really damaged the discourse in this nation.

What?

This same shit happened down the stretch last year, too. Brandon Bolden in at PR, he muffs ‘em. Keyshawn Martin in at PR, he muffs ‘em. Special teams disasters likely cost us both the Denver and Philly games last year, and winning either one would’ve given NE homefield advantage.

Gotta lock this shit down, the Pats…

Ahhh, behold the penis cockbaggus in its native habitat! Clear giveaway that this one’s a penis: it’s wearing a visor.

The PFT comments on this/any other story like it make those ESPN comments look like pages out of The New Yorker.

Totally unrelated, but have you seen Jeff Garcia’s wife?

AAARRRUUUU!!! RUFF RUFF RUFF!!! A-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(This is me barking like a horny dog in the background of a Warner Bros. cartoon.)

Carolina Panthers = New York Jets + talent at the QB position

Tony Zendejas, motherfuckers!

All those guys, plus a modern-day Babe Ruth batting third. Yeeeeeeeesh.

Wahlberg brings everything he has to this role, including all one of his facial expressions.

To be fair, it’s hard to resist the temptations at All Of Garden.

Toppling down, as predicted...

“I’m pissed off, dammit! Yes, I played like runny feces all throughout our 4-game losing streak, but I silenced the haters yesterday! I’M TIRED OF BEING DOUBTED!”

- Ryan Fitzpatrick

*finally get inside*
*Dan hands you a mirror with crushed-up, expired airline peanuts and a rolled $5 bill*

Dan Snyder: Tom, come over!! Sure, sure, let’s party. Can’t wait to see you.
*drives to Dan’s mansion*
*security guy says it’s $50 to park*

I thought he made an astute, accurate, clear-eyed observation. And ultimately, history will vindicate Mike Ditka’s position.

Wait, we’re talking about this video, right?

I’m not sure — I’ve never heard Tom speak that quickly. He’s more of a plodder.

To be fair, Revis is like 100.

One day into the season, and I just found myself physically irritated by the auto-playing Tecmo Bowl game. God dammit JIMMY DON’T BE A STATUE!!!