Hockey is a real sport because during the Stanley Cup they play overtime like grown-up athletes until there’s a winner.

Imagine if game 7 of the NBA Finals was tied at the end of regulation, and instead of overtime, they had 5 players from each team shoot a free throw. Now tell me with a straight face that soccer is a real sport.

I’d rather watch a cooking show devoted to Hot Pockets than All Takes Matter.

Or you can grab a Cheeseburger-flavored Lean Pocket!