#RejectedFirstDraftLinesFromDantesInferno

thank holy lord for the hetch hetchy reservoir.

Haven’t heard that song in ages. Now I’ll think about this all afternoon:

We need a pizza guillotine, with a 14” blade that BEHEADS each slice, making the pizza easier to separate.

She lived in terror of Unmarked Helicopters, she died because she refused to obey seatbelt laws.

“Who’s the U-boat commander?”

Yeah? Then why am I masturbating and trying to get the layering right in photoshop, smartass?

The Ghost of Helen Chenoweth will lead the Gen State Irregulars to Glory.

Yep, Michigan lost Toledo and came out on top. Just like in the 50 state battle royale, any challenger that decides not to bother with Maryland winds up the winner. It’s the anti-pyrrhic victory, or the war games strategy - the only way to win is not to play.

If you just hold completely still, all the assholes will die and the corruption will stop. Their sense of being is based on movement.

The grim, arid interior, where we store our hillbillies leftover from the gold rush for safe keeping. You don’t often hear about them, except in election years.

The terms on which our Democratic Party paymasters give us our weekly checks for services rendered preclude us covering such topics.

Well looks like I have a new favorite Plummer in the NFL (Sorry, Tomsula).

Don’t care.

Scooby-Doo Rost in Ra Rumbest Ray.

Goddammit.

-M’s fans, every fucking day

Brazilian guy here. Well, this “financial emergency” is not exactly what it seems. For a Brazilian city or state, declaring this situation is a legal maneuver to force the federal government to put federal money to pay for city’s or state’s commitments.

Rio state government declared the collapse as a way to force the…

Drinking early: Golf.