A brawl ensues, having begun with a heated argument between the crossfitter and the vegan over the environmental merits of grain growth for consumption vs. grain growth for cattle feed, and devolving into an outright fight between the atheist and the feminist over whether or not one should really believe everyone who…

My internet addiction has made reading more difficult. I admit I have a problem.

Replaced this one.

The only communication I have with the outside world is my network of orphans who overhear coffee shop conversations and bring me back the half-heard tidbits which make up my monthly zine. I print it from toilet paper I steal from different hotel bathrooms.

I don’t even use electricity.

I don’t even know what a television is.

I read your comment on a tablet made out of recycled microbeads.

Hypocrite.

I don’t even know how to read.

What vintage are your farts?

Wait I know this one! They run into a vegan, right?

read whatever you want man

I don’t even own a television.

A crossfitter, and atheist, and a feminist who only reads books by non white-cis-male authors walks into a bar...

Jokes on you, my smart computer read it for me and told me I must form an opinion immediately.

I don't read ANY books by ANY authors, so HA!

I want to announce publicly that in 2016 I will only read the collected works of left-handed disabled Bhutanese poets.

What if you plan to accomplish this by not reading anything this year?

You’re mistaking my response as a defense of the guy, or his bitching.

Again, this is pedantry.