Non-residency tuition ain’t cheap.

If I were a Bostonian that is exactly how I would talk. All the time. Even if I was a recent immigrant from one of the countries Trump hates or the blue-bloodiest Brahmin to ever accept a legacy admission to Harvard, I would learn to speak like a shit-faced extra from Good Will Hunting and always talk like that. In…

He learned that when the two men who own that charming and wholesome antiques shop outside Manchester referred to each other as partners they weren’t talking about the legal organization of their business.

I’m pretty sure this record executive guy is a giant douche because all record executive guys are giant douches. But Taylor Swift’s upset of this particular douchey record executive guy buying her masters smells like every celebrity everywhere who didn’t get something they wanted (specifically was outbid for something…

Are you suggesting they calm down?

“She is a winner who has lost so much...”

This is the MAGA philosophy at its purest essence. Winners and losers aren’t determined by the morally neutral act of winning and losing. Winners and Losers are preordained castes, determined (I suppose) by melanin levels and a willfully ignorant misreading of John Calvin.

To…

Many, many people say it’s totally unfair to me that I cannot nominate an ex-justice to replace the one that passed away. Substantial people are saying it. They come up to me and say: sir, why can’t you nominate someone to replace ex-Justice Steven? I’ve been asked that question, well, a tremendous number of…

This is an amazing non-sequitur.

My inability to acquire a taste for salmon is why I am fat. 

Too often, in this age of talking motion pictures and swing music, celebrity is mistaken for authority. We saw that again last month when it was learned that heavyweight Max Schmeling likely saved the lives of two Jewish children by hiding them in his hotel suite during Kristallnacht and helping them escape Germany.

The PGA is also a sporting concern that did not allow non-caucasian members until 1961.

We’re through the looking glass here, people.

Dec. 10, 1990. The Raiders came to the Silverdome for a Monday Night game. Bo and Barry each ran for 120+ yards and scored. Marcus Allen and Tim Brown also scored. So 4 Heisman Trophy winners scored in a single game. Also Willie Gault caught a 68-yard touchdown pass on the Raiders opening drive. The Raiders won 38-31.…

I attended a PGA event this summer and had more fun than I expected. So I decided to head over to the merchandise tent to get a hat or polo or something. Then I realized all the merch was basically a billboard for the tournament sponsor. Nothing about that was appealing to me. It’s kind of a bummer to know all sports…

You just know they are like 30-year-old tighty whities with legacy shit stains on them.

I sometimes wonder if Eric is the smart one. Relatively speaking, I mean. His grandfather, for whatever else (a Klansman) he may have been, was a rich guy with a low-key public persona. Maybe Eric figures if he keeps quiet and lets people think he’s Fredo, he can be mostly left alone to make lots of money while his…

Tyrus immediately regretting lending President Trump his phone.

I honestly wonder if he meant Melania or Ivanka.

That’s because Stevie Wonder isn’t blind!

Hi, I’m Roger Goodell, commission of the National Football League. Nothing is more important than the health of our young people. That’s why the NFL has partnered with the Jeffrey Epstein Foundation on an exciting program to provide young people with vaccines and other opportunities.