What is the ratio of Big Baller Bucks to Stanley Nickels?

Overcooked penne bends but does it ever really lose its shape?

Trump’s mass deportation plan is very, very easy to stop. It’s just the people in Washington are too stupid to figure it out. Believe me, this is very easy to stop. Everyone knows this. Major people know this. I know all the major people and they all tell me they know it is very, very easy to stop Trump’s mass…

There are absolutely jars of his urine in the White House. 

I saw this one coming a mile a way. - Stevie Wonder

This is true. There is still no evidence the crash happened though. 

I once spent 15 minutes arguing with one of those dipshits over whether Robert Byrd was still alive. Apparently, in the right-wing fever dream alternative reality, Robert Byrd is still alive, still in the KKK, and was the power behind the throne in the Obama White House. I wish I could make this stuff up. 

There are consequences for disrespecting Flavor Aid. Dire consequences.

I have a deeply held personal belief that no matter how much Jessica Biel says she doesn’t want spying on her from her bedroom window, she really does want me to do that. It is nothing short of a travesty of justice that the Government would interfere in this deeply held personal belief of mine.

Dad here. When my daughter was born, I took one week off. From my vacation bank. It was not enough time and it put extra burden on my wife, who wasn’t just caring for a new born but recovering from an intense medical procedure, child birth.

I would have liked to take more time but we needed one of us to continue…

Needs moar tits.

On behalf of myself and my family, I would like to apologize to any volcano that may have been offended by my thoughtless remarks. I have known and worked with many volcanoes and have nothing but respect for them and their traditions. I count many volcanoes among my friends. I deeply regard how my comments may have…

Not giving the owner/investor 100% of the profits to begin with is where socialism starts.

Nope. Just nope. Life is too short to sort through all that bullshit.

You know some executive grooved the “research” to justify this branding by asking a focus group if they’d like a “Code Red” warning when there is severe or if they’d prefer no “Code Red” warning.

Broadcasting consultants are disgusting creatures. I’m not saying they should be rounded up and tossed into volcanoes but I’m not not saying that either.

This is why I never coached in the CFL. - Steve Spurrier

Yes, that is obviously how it happened. 

Remember the episode of The Office when they have a booth at the high school job fair and Michael makes Pam bring a single sheet of white paper? That’s our president, a malevolent Michael Scott.

I have a relative, a Republican but not really that political. He’s a small town tradesman whose life is about as insulated from the impact of national politics as you can be. He voted for Trump but isn’t an enthusiastic MAGAchud. Just one of those not-very-bright people who always pulls the R lever because guns or…