This shit turns us into blathering degenerates. I just pulled a nice ball of lint from my bellybutton. Instead of throwing it away, I just flicked it on the floor. Debilitating.

The Human Fund Independence Bowl

...and there's that helpless feeling again. 

Your terms of endearment are, um, impressive! 

Good grief, that is a deep cut!

Is this how Cinco de Mayo started? 

Fuck yeah it does!

I liked Brad Pitt’s character- Floyd - in True Romance. Do fictional characters count?

I could be wrong or misinterpreting this, but this is from a quick Google search:

Your 2nd quotation mark belongs outside of the question mark.

I hope these sociopathic hedge fund vampires read comments like these, and give up their scavenging. They have to know that they are damned, right? 

I am the son of an avid reader and English teacher who corrected my grammar my whole life. “Swang” made me glitch up, but I don’t care any more, now that I'm a grown orphan. We know what you mean. Godspeed! 

Wow, dude. For a second, I thought I was reading another article about Rutgers football. Then I remembered that that would be silly. One is enough for the internet. 

I hope that I’m not the only psychopath, but I HAD to sneak the last sip of Mrs. Wisconsonite’s breast milk out of a near-finished bottle during our first child’s infancy. I was blown away at how much it tasted like Frosted Flakes milk (strangely, she doesn’t eat Frosted Flakes). I regret not asking for this delicacy…

Cereal killers?

It's LEAVES, dummy.

You need a ball too.

No problem. Let me know if this shit storm ever ends. I’ll shut up and start crawling...

I don’t think he liked Anderson being a Try Hard in a pre-season game, which is dumb of Morris. He should expect that out of a youngster trying to prove himself in the NBA - pre-season or not. The elbow haymaker was a bit dangerous, but the forehead bonk was delightful!