oh my God, that is a word vortex. My brain hurts.

oh God, please never say “Presidential spread” ever again 

Wow, is this how nihilists bang?

I just want you to know this has been stuck in my head now ever since you posted it. I walk around the house singing it. My family is about ready to involuntarily commit me.

At their family’s current rate of copulation, Jim-Bob and Michelle could reasonably expect to meet their great-great-grandchildren some day. And if each of their children and their children’s children each married and had 19 kids, then by the time J-Bob met his g-g-grandkids, there would be no less than 275,122…

THIS. IS. GLORIOUS.

Sarah McLachlan, where are you when we need you?! This situation simply begs for one of your tortuous, heartstring-tugging commercials, STAT! Only with no sad puppies this time - just mistreated POTUSes! I mean, we need to stir up some SERIOUS sympathy here for this poor, abused man.

Ms. Jones is with Kyle Mooney, though. :) 

This headline from a few months ago was the absolute last straw for me. In a (frankly, fruitless) effort to thwart konstant k-news from my newsfeed, I went into my AppleNews settings and officially blocked Kardashian news and all of its variants.

When can we expect to see promotions for the new “Brazilian Baby Butt Lift” procedure? Make that diaper booty POP!

“You don’t have to date him, you don’t have to marry him, you just have to want to get the country going in the right direction,” Kurek said.

This baffles me. Since when does “maybe he didn’t realize he was doing something unlawful” become a reason to let someone (in this case, Don Jr) off the hook?!

Pick a little, talk a lot. 

honest question: Is it a practice of other nations to charge “entry” to asylum seekers? I’m trying really hard to look at this rationally and not get riled up about shit that pisses me off...at least not within 5 seconds of reading it, anyway. 

I’m going to go with the “Occam’s razor” scenario, the least-interesting-yet-most-plausible explanation for the royals unfollowing each other: Kate, Wills, Harry and Megs are just fucking with everyone for their personal entertainment.

“Rod Goes-enstein”

Rhetorical question (to be read in an exasperated tone): Why? How?! Why and how does this keep happening, state after state after state? I understand that the right is employing a very strategic plan to totally eliminate abortion access. However, it’s clear that the majority of our country doesn’t feel the same way.…

Can’t believe I’m admitting to this, but quilling is one of my hobbies. There are some very beautiful modern approaches to it, and I love that it’s a cheap, relaxing and forgiving craft.

The worst thing that happened today

Oh yes. Those protestors are also sensitive to each woman’s background, experience, life story, and deeply personal reasons for seeking out birth control/health services. It’s not like they sit outside those clinics assuming that all clients of the clinic are dirty whores that just need to be saved. /s