In real life any girl or guy you meet or start dating, could have slept with someone else before you met them. While its probably not good, to lie about it, it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Does infinity really exist?

The Spurs are just sitting there waiting for the next pick up game like the cagey 40something at the recreation center, adjusting his elbow pads and using a special solution to clean his sports goggles.

For a convertible? Nope. For full repayment of my student Loans? Ehh... probably. It would be terrible but could it possibly be worse than 20 years of being bled dry? Everyone has a price and I guess now I know mine.

If you want your children to see these things, here’s a novel idea- take them whale watching! Let them see orcas in their natural habitat! Not in what amounts to a fish bowl for unhappy cetaceans. The whales deserve better, and if you really want your children to learn about orcas, the kids deserve better too.

Dear Ms. Crowther,

Who has time for that nonsense? There’s 4 of those damn bars in a package, you break off a bar, 3 bites, it’s gone. Next bar, 3 bites, gone. Next bar, 3 bites, gone. Final bar, 3 bites and you’re done. 12 bites. Some people can probably do it in less (God love ya if you can do it in 4 — call me) but for crying out…

HoustonDude2014: Hello, I’m HoustonDude2014.

“I’m gonna beat him. I’m gonna hurt him. I’m gonna crucify him. REAL BAD.”

Ordinary crucifixion: Not bad enough evidently.

Same with my 9 year old:

You eat the lunch your wife packed at like 10 a.m. then still go get your burrito. Or eat the burrito and throw the lunch away and never mention it. But you don’t, under any circumstances, risk fucking that situation up, you moron.

So, a Knicks’ game is out of the question too?

“At another point, a woman suddenly emerged from stage right with a folder in hand, beckoning Mr. Perry to leave. He sheepishly did so.”