Obviously, the secret to Blue Bell ice cream tasting so good is the extra Listeria.

Are the Spurs somehow magic or simply smarter than almost all of the rest of the league?

WTF are you talking about you damn “truther”?

I’m not sure a packed service for midnight mass at Christmas needs embellishment by a hoverboard.

With name of Bismack Biyombo and JaVale McGee in the headlines, eight Donald Trump supporters had a heart attack this morning while mumbling about taking their country back.

Now...why you have to go getting all negative about Dilly Bars?

Oh please, over 25% of GOP voters and over 45% of Trump supporters would endorse those positions, and then tack oh an extra 10% or 15% from the Democrats.

Barely usable for strangulation?

Big Bang Theory is just the worst portrayal of really smart people.

Trump is an idiot, but I do not care if Trump (or Hillary or Jeb? or Bernie) has an opinion on what our priority should be regarding which leg of the nuclear triad needs to be upgraded first.

Seriously....are folks just lucky that the atmosphere on all these planets just so happen to support humanoid life?

“we live in America. I didn’t teach my children to hate people or to think they are better than other people.”

There would be few things more cool than being friends with Patrick Stewart.

I’m too lazy to google all the stats, but I think it was Jezebel that recently noted the study showing the teen pregnancy and birth rates (and abortion) are at near all time lows.

“Officer, I’m sorry that he’s dead, but I was just walking across campus and I saw this guy running at people with what looked to be a gun. I was afraid for my life and for the lives of others, so I shot him.

“...to get thrown upside down a few times before I got knocked up.”

Look...I hate Erickson as much as the next guy, but I will not stand here (or sit..whatever) and let you disparage Velveeta and Rotel “queso”.

One of the good folks at 538 prepared a nine-part 10,000+ word statistical argument that Dennis Rodman should be the first person you would pick as that hypothetical GM.

I’m a huge Shaq fan...even when Shaq got a bit huge.

If women profiled and freaked out about men 1/10th as bad as conservatives freak out about foreigners, there would be a shit ton of men shot everyday.