No, YOU DO NOT GET TO RUIN THIS!

"have a lot of Liberian friends"

Meghan Trainor is about as interesting as a white bread and mayo sandwich.

YASSSS BITCH YAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS There's stuff to criticize about this song, obvs but goddamn if we can't celebrate a woman singing about how awesome it is to have a fat ass and enjoy it.

trollololol angry white boy is angry

His wife has got to be some kind of freaking saint 'cause her husband is about to become wank-fodder for like a billion women.

This movie looks lame and horrible, and the books were lame, horrible and bizarre but GODDAMN IT if I'm not going to watch this. YAASSSS BISH YASSS.

I used to think doggie style was gross — when I was a VIRGIN.

#THIS COULD BE US BUT YOU PLAYIN

I had less of a problem with the Mercedes than how ridiculous the whole essay was in general...

OMG THANK YOU. Scrolling through the comments waiting for someone to point this out...this is so dumb.

Yuh, uh, I'm just gonna bookmark this here...good stretches to keep handy y'know.

I love Zlatan, these excerpts have sold me on it. He's hilarious, arrogant and self-deprecating at the same time.

Was sad for Ghana. Sad for Cote d'Ivoire. Sad for Mexico. I thought I wouldn't be this sad, or at least used to the sad, but GODDAMNIT. THIS HURTS MORE THAN ALL OF THOSE OTHERS. That guy, that guy sitting alone in his Captain America suit...that guy is all of us.

Nothing is fair, God is not listening. I AM SO SAD!!!!!

NOOOOOOOO MI AMIGOOS :((((((((((((

'Cause he fucking did!!!

I seriously just burst into fucking tears at the end of the match, like such a fucking visceral moment of CAN'T WE HAVE JUST THIS ONE THING FOR AFRICA??!

I AM SO FUCKING SAD, SO FUUUUUCKING SAD NOTHING MAKES SENSE WHY WHY WHY WHY POURQUOIS??!!! JE NAIS COMPRENDS PAS, NOUS AVANCIONS PORQUOIS DIEU??!!!

lol shut the fuck up, why do random fucking racist trolls like you even bother with soccer, you ruin it for everyone. You should be ashamed yourself, but that would require more than the IQ of a fucking box of rocks.