big if true

I’m pretty sure that, in this case, the suicidal behavior existed primarily in the context of not being able to live with THE DOUBLE HOMICIDE SHE JUST COMMITTED TO HER TWO CHILDREN.

“Let’s just say it works for me. I have no problem pleasing the ladies. Well, I mean, I do. That’s why I take Viagra. But once I take it, I have no problem pleasing the ladies. Well, no physical problem. I have been accused of being an emotionally distant and selfish lover.”

Kinky indeed. Try this, Rubik!

That usually works for me in court

I’d just add that he was thrust into the spotlight much earlier than 19...already having to deal with being Steph’s cousin, I’m pretty sure I first saw him in Slam magazine as a high school sophomore already being hyped as the next great NY point guard.

I guess we can infer that you would have been completely ready for professional athlete life at age 19 when you’ve been the best of your local age group and are suddenly thrust into the maelstrom of the highest echelons of the sport. No chance you might have had trouble adjusting to that because you're not "lazy" or…

Man, imagine getting beat out for starting PG by Steve Blake in 2005, and now this.

Guys, what if Left Shark wasn’t just screwing up her Super Bowl performance?

But most of his ability to make defenders miss was based on the fact that he was so blurry and hard to focus on. He wouldn’t have managed half the career yards if he was competing against today’s defenses in 4K Ultra High Definition.

While you are absolutely correct that she did not deserve to be treated this way, I also have no doubt that Britt McHenry would be the first one in line to defend a right-wing dude accused of saying these things to another woman.

BREAKING: Dwayne Johnson to star in new Werner Herzog production Grizzly Man 2: Man Bites Back. Herzog hypes the collaboration: “In all the faces of all the bears that Johnson ever filmed, I discover no kinship, no understanding, no mercy. I see only candy-ass fear.”

You truly are a wordsmith,*squints at screen*

The triathlon part, mostly.  

Well see, that’s where I disagree.  

Sure, says triathlon right there!  

That was a triathlon joke

Oh, don’t be a heal.

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

You nailed it!