"No corporations are going to be lining up to pay them money out of high school."

Depends.

Q: Why did he leave the game early?

This just in: Metta World Peace is still a giant piece of shit.

I love that he wastes so much time with tough-guy posturing, too. He makes sure we know he'll kick an ass if it touches one of his female possessions, though said possession could save him the trouble by rethinking her tone before it gets that far.

"I instructed him to exit the vehicle. As he did, I noticed that he was rather large in stature and appeared to be athletically fit. I mean, he was huge. But still had amazing muscular definition. With broad shoulders and hands the size of ironing boards. If you were an NFL quarterback, it would be absolutely…

"large in stature and athletically fit" is my new favorite euphemism for black

I agree. If you can do the movements thoughtfully with someone eyeing you to assist, you'll be fine. The crossfit way is faster and with a one pair of eyes on a class of up to 20 or so. And the fitter you are, the more attention you'll get, leaving the people who need the most help to be more apt to injure…

+1 needs more stars

Why don't black people hate Bieber as much as white people do? Come on, guys - we need your help here!

In slideshow format, please.

Terrifyingly long?

Hear hear! I posit her sheer existence is implied consent to that digital greeting!

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

Calling Erin Andrews "gutless" only proves that TruBiotics works as advertised.

More coming soon on this, obviously.

The first rule of CrossFit is you do not stop talking about CrossFit.

Bath police is what my uncle used to call it :(