You have to stay inside the ring in sumo.

Though it seems pretty weak, I’m glad he’s at least taken a Proactiv approach at issuing an apology.

*Grabs popcorn to watch owners implode*

It’s 2017. Of course the guy with a horseshoe up his ass blames Luck.

A.J. went full Pacman, you never go full Pacman.

+2 low-hanging fruit.

Come on, guys.

That’s so cute. Now they both have more rings than the Dodgers.

Man, shut the fuck up.

We here in Houston are perfectly happy with the thought of this World Championship keeping us feeling better about our situation for the next few years. I’m sorry our one bright spot this year bugs you so much.

I’m going to call them APE-APEs.

Or “Kevin Hart to replace Tyrese Gibson in Fast and Furious franchise”

But, on the West Coast, when you go to the beach the ocean is on the wrong side of the parking lot.

‘In senility, veritas’ as it were.

The truly amazing part of this story is that it took a teenage boy more than four strokes to finish.

Unfortunately this is par for the course.

Markelle Fultz also made a shooting gesture toward fans in Detroit last night.

Am I being too cynical in thinking an Italian winning the Venice Marathon, after the leaders were dicked over, is suspicious?

“Chumba, one of the runners who was led off-course, took fourth.”