For survival, sunscreen. For vanity, eyeliner. I could also use it to write notes to send out in bottles!

That is so beautiful. She was very lucky to have a daughter in law who did her that final, tender, intimate honour. You helped her get her game face on for the journey. We should all be so lucky.

I suspect that it’s also useful because if you get itchy, you can get in a surreptitious scratch while you’re “drying your hands.”

This is the most appropriate use of this gif possible.

Sorry, had to be posted!!

So I should karate chop you in the genitals, is what you’re saying?

SIDEBAR: Fuck La Croix. Polar FTW.

A rotten egg.

Celery is delicious.  Apples do not belong in any salad that is not fruit salad.  That is all.

Yeah, this was not the face of “I was just trying to calm things down”. This is the face of a jackass who thinks he’s always right because his parents have always told him that he’s always right and better than those people.  

Because everything is a public performance on YouFace now. Christ, promposals are a thing now, and gender reveal parties. Your bride-to-be will be slighted nowadays if there isn’t an audience and fifteen cellphones pointed in her direction.

I’VE BEEN DOING MY BEST TO RAISE 2 BOYS TO BE HONORABLE, DECENT &, RESPECTFUL MEN HOW DARE THIS HATEFUL AD SUGGEST THAT WE SHOULD RAISE BOYS TO BE HONORABLE DECENT &, RESPECTFUL!

I’m kind of pissed at all the recent naysayers regarding Marie Kondo (and her new show). Interestingly most of the gripers seem to be male.

Also, who would mistake this for an actual LV purse? It’s got a fucking face!

*tucks all of you in, forehead smooches*

The theme is obviously nuclear winter treepocalypse. 

That JLo “tree” pic is all about the booty, and we know it, JLo. WE ALL KNOW IT.

Just when you think you can’t love this incredible woman any more.

I bet he still tries to use it as a napkin sometimes?